I HATE to experiment in front of a crowd, but I brought a canvas that was supposed to work with watercolor. I guess it did, but it was WORK! I had a lot of fun figuring out how it was supposed to work and finished it up with great big brushes, not the usual three or four hairs! Anyway it is 11x14" and sells for $380.
...has been on my mind lately. To be clear, she doesn't specialize in female dogs. She's just a bitch.
She's been on my mind because, well, although I have not yet found my pooch-mate, there is still plenty do to by way of prep work. One of these things is finding a vet and while I ask around and do office drive-bys, I am remembering the bitch.
About 10 years ago, my beloved bloodhound Beatrice had reached her dotage and, as all large breeds do, was breaking down fast. Her hips were a mess, she was covered with lypomas, and had suffered a siezure or two which rendered her incontinent. After spending many thousands of dollars diagnosing that she was getting old, had hip dysplasia, was covered with non-malignant lypomas, and yeah, she had a seizure or two, I looked at the old girl one day and realized that not only had she lost interest in eating, she had indeed lived a long life and were we in the country would wander off to find a tree under which she'd schmooze herself into eternity. And so I opted for the most painful moment in every dogowner's life: The putdown.
I take her to the vet who tries to dissuade me saying things like...we haven't tried this...or there are doggie diapers..who knows what she was blabbering. I was blubbering. I had put down many dogs before Beatrice but never had I been assaulted with treatment plans at the deathbed like I had this time. When I steadfastly but politely declined the veternarian's suggestions, she turned cold (when she should have been consoling me, quite frankly), administered the mercy and left the disposal options talk to her assistant. After I collected myself I paid the bill. The vet passed me at the desk and said, "You know, this could have been avoided." And I looked at her and said, "F### you."
Because, f### her, you know? She hadn't lived with Beatrice all her life, loved her the way I did. No one wanted for Beatrice to live longer than forever than I did...except, perhaps the bitch vet. Lord knows she would have loved to sell me (and her other patients I'm sure) on some irrelevant, ridiculous therapy that benefitted only her. I know there are vets out there like that who think nothing of tests and pills and injections that cost thousands which wind up doing nothing more but prolonging the end-stage. And for every one of those vets, there are tens of us animal owners who take our responsibilities seriously and are realists about the duties of animal keeping.
Just the other day I ran into a friend who's doggie had a bout of diarrhea. $700 and a couple of bowls of dry food later...all is fine. If you ask a bunch of us, something's f###ed up about this very common scenario.
There's almost 400 Pounds of dog in my house right now!
This would be OK if I had two Neapolitan Mastiffs that were sleeping like rugs.
BUT, I have a 1000 sq. ft. California Cottage and, one German Shepherd under the age of 10 months, 1 Border Collie just over a year, a Hound Mix, an AussieX, a Chow/PitX and a 6mo Pittie, plus one very old, slow moving Schnauzer.
Keeping play tame, furniture standing, and knees from being blown out is NOT OPTIONAL! ...BUT it is simple.
When a new dog is thrown into the mix they get a quick lesson on home-manners. The rules are as simple. There are 3 obedience phrases and 2 consequences. I NEVER yell any of these. I never threaten (everything has a consequence). I am always right.
Commands:
Yellow Warning Light: "__dog's name__, Cool-it."
Red Light: "Too-bad."
Green Light: "Thank You."
Consequences:
Errors earn a dog a 10-15 second time-out in a crate, bathroom, or tied to leash.
Compliance earns the dogs Praise & Freedom, maybe a toy tossed to them, perhaps a cookie.
THE RULES:
- Bump into Kelley, get an automatic time-out: "Too-bad."
- Bump into grandma (schnauzer), get an automatic time-out: "Too-bad."
- Bump into furniture, get an automatic time-out: "Too-bad."
- Get TOO LOUD, get a warning.
- Head the warning, and become quiet, get a green light to keep playing.
- Ignore warning, get a time-out: "Too-bad."
- Play with anything but a dog toy, get an automatic time-out: "Too-bad."
- Go in the no-dog-zone, get an automatic time-out: "Too-bad."
BONUS: "PLAY BREAK"
